Graduated!

Blue sky 90 degree day.

1000 people under a white tent on a green field.

107 students in caps and gowns.

Red roses.  Green covered diplomas.

Beloved Child

Proud Mama.

     And so, it is done.   An exhausting month of Senior project, presentations and preparations for graduation and now it is finished.  Beloved Child says it feels "surreal" that it is over now.  All of the build up and preparation and seemingly, in an instant, it is done.   The speeches have been heard, the awards received and the applause given.  Celebratory meals have been consumed, thank you notes have been written and Grandma is on her way back home.  Beloved Child is so very tired.   It is now time to rest and reflect, at least for a few days.

   It is very odd, after this whole year of preparing for "the end" to have it finally arrive.   I wonder if this is the last time she will live at home for any length of time.   From now on she will choose whether I know about her classes or her grades or even her friends.   I hardly know what to say or write.

   I marvel that I have raised a child to this point in her life.  

 She has wings.  

  Fly safe, Beloved Child.

Reality and Choices

   Beloved Child is in the final month of deciding about colleges.  Over the weekend she heard from 3 more schools, two put her on the wait list and one out right said she was not admitted.   I did not realize how much of my own ego was invested in her getting in, not because I want her to go to any one particular school, but because, who on earth would reject my smart, wonderful child?  She got into 5 schools, 4 of which she is not truly interested in, which leaves her feeling as though she really has only one choice and the wait list schools.

   In truth, I think the one school that admitted her and that she would consider going to is the right school. It has the programs, extra-curriculars and travel opportunities that she wants, it is not overly far from home, but certainly far enough, and has economic diversity as well as a large enough student body to have other kinds of diversity as well.

   And in the midst of this, I try to not put MY hopes, fears and choices in her face.  I ask, nicely, "how are you feeling about all of this?"  "What do you think/feel about your choices?" and she says, "Mom, asking how I am feeling is just making me feel worse.  Stop it. "   Okay. Well. Um.   So, I have to shut up, for now, and wait to be asked for an opinion, and be silently supportive somehow.   Ice cream?

    We went to Florida last week for 3 days.  It was great.  We walked on the beach, ate (outside!!), shopped and talked.  I am cherishing these opportunities to be close before she leaves in the Fall.  Tomorrow is back to school, the last term.  Graduation is 2 months away.   Silent support, lots of love and opinions when asked.  This is my life today, right now.