Money doesn't grow on trees?
I skyped with the child last night. (Hurrah) She is in Spain for a term with 8 classmates. As well as classes in Spanish, literature, history and culture, she has art with a local artisan, guitar lessons, athletic opportunities and extensive travel with the group. She showed me the sunglasses she bought for 148 euros. She showed me the jeans she bought that were "cheap". She has told me about the cafe con leche and the tortillas espanola that she has been eating at the local shop.
And...she wants to stay longer (Please? It won't cost that much more.). She wants me to come visit (I wish I could, and that she WANTS me to means everything to me). She wants us to go back and visit her host family next summer after graduation. She also wants to buy a car when she returns to the states (with what I don't know).
I have spent her entire life talking with her about "needs" and "wants". She knows that my being a social worker/childcare provider and semi-at-home mom means that I do not have as much money as some of the other kids' parents. We have had tears, compromises and most recently, a summer job. Still, compared to many, she has a pretty privileged life. And yet, the "wants" are mounting as graduation approaches. Considering that colleges and universities are in the 30-50,000. dollar range, the "needs" and"wants" are only going to show up more and more.
How to be enthusiastic and encouraging AND realistic is a challenge for me. I feel like I am the killjoy, the voice of doom, the "bad news mama" when I say, "Wow, we can't afford that...." again. Most of the time, she gets it and we don't have to battle every dime. She shops consignment and looks for coupons. She is frugal as can be with her own money. The "Bank of Mom" however is another story.
I hate worrying about, thinking about, talking about money. There is no fun in it for me. That she and I have made it this far is encouraging to me. She has a debit card and knows what happens if she overdraws (the lovely woman at the bank made this abundantly clear to her.)
Still, along with wings for the girl, a money tree would be nice. Don't you think?
I am trying to strike a balance in trying to explain this to Aberash--wanting vs. needing, but it's so hard right now and i suspect it only gets harder. It sounds like you've been able to strike a great balance--I mean a kid who gets to go to Spain and the Carribeean...hmmmm. But a money tree would be nice.
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