Beloved Child is in the final month of deciding about colleges. Over the weekend she heard from 3 more schools, two put her on the wait list and one out right said she was not admitted. I did not realize how much of my own ego was invested in her getting in, not because I want her to go to any one particular school, but because, who on earth would reject my smart, wonderful child? She got into 5 schools, 4 of which she is not truly interested in, which leaves her feeling as though she really has only one choice and the wait list schools.
In truth, I think the one school that admitted her and that she would consider going to is the right school. It has the programs, extra-curriculars and travel opportunities that she wants, it is not overly far from home, but certainly far enough, and has economic diversity as well as a large enough student body to have other kinds of diversity as well.
And in the midst of this, I try to not put MY hopes, fears and choices in her face. I ask, nicely, "how are you feeling about all of this?" "What do you think/feel about your choices?" and she says, "Mom, asking how I am feeling is just making me feel worse. Stop it. " Okay. Well. Um. So, I have to shut up, for now, and wait to be asked for an opinion, and be silently supportive somehow. Ice cream?
We went to Florida last week for 3 days. It was great. We walked on the beach, ate (outside!!), shopped and talked. I am cherishing these opportunities to be close before she leaves in the Fall. Tomorrow is back to school, the last term. Graduation is 2 months away. Silent support, lots of love and opinions when asked. This is my life today, right now.
Having just survived the kindergarten version of this, I have nothing but respect for your position right now. I imagine that it is much harder, and much more stressful than mine was. I hope your daughter finds peace and happiness with whatever path she chooses!
ReplyDeleteIt must be really difficult to bite your tongue and not insert yourself too much into this important decision. But it sounds to me like you're doing a great job of showing interest but leaving space. And that time in Florida sounds wonderful!
ReplyDeleteOh, man, I don't envy you at all. It's hard to let them do things on their own when they're 3, I can't imagine making such a big decision. I hope she gets excited about the choice she makes, and glad that the best choice sounds like a great fit. Stressful times, so I'm sure FL was a nice interlude!
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