Money Tree, again.

    Have I said "yes" to often?  Have I made life too easy?   Was I not clear enough about the differences between wants and needs?   Do I always have to be the mean mommy, the one who says the things you do not want to hear?   

    How do you teach a child what sacrifice and delayed gratification means?    My Beloved Child wants to go on a Senior Project this Spring.  In her case this means leaving school three weeks early, flying across the country and being able to work in a volunteer capacity at a very unique and exciting job.   If life was perfect I would hand her a plane ticket and say "Have fun, Sweetie.  I'll see you in three weeks".   If life was easy I would never think twice about spending money on not only her needs but her wants as well.   Life is not perfect.
    My mother has offered to buy the tickets.  I had previously spoken with my mom about why I thought Beloved Child should have the responsibility in obtaining these tickets, that Senior Project is a "want" and a "privilege" and that going on said project should be her own work.  I thought I had explained, but mom and my daughter have worked it out between them, and "Gran'ma offered to buy them."   I feel undermined and as though my lesson is a lost opportunity.  Now I am just petty and mean.  I emailed my mother and asked had she not remembered my request.
    I would give my daughter everything she wants in this world and beyond, if I could and if I thought that would be good for her.  I do not want her to be a privileged and spoiled brat. I want her to appreciate what she has received already and to know the satisfaction of waiting and working for something special, rather than having it plop right into her lap.  I want her to understand making choices, sacrificing something for the sake of something else, or someone else.  There is always going to be something new and shiny around the corner.
   I have been trying to cut her a lot of slack recently - Winter term is always the hardest one for her.  She is stressed with school and applications and .....the list goes on.   And I wonder, have I created this dilemma?     And to top it off, I really would like to take her on a special trip after graduation, but I feel like doing that on top of everything else would be too much.
     I need some perspective and feedback.  I need a money tree.  I probably need a job that pays more than 15 dollars and hour.   I may cry.   I may find another answer.   I may just have to be the mean mama for now.    I need to raise a responsible and thankful child.   I want to give her the world.